Drinking It All: #14 Natural Ice

Drinking It All is a document of my attempt to try every beer in circulation. It’s a Herculean and tragic attempt at best. But it’s the means, not the end that counts here.

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I really thought it might be fun to try some of these cheap beers and post about them since you probably won’t read about them in any serious beer publication, internet or otherwise. But I’m about ready to post about some good beers–and I’ve got plenty saved up. But before I’m done with the cheap beers, I’ve got two more to cover. And they’re serious cheap beers.

We’ll start with Natural Ice. Yes. You read it right. Natural fucking Ice. A/k/a Natty Ice.

It’s hard for me to say who this beer is marketed towards and/or who actually buys it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone drinking it–much less buying it. But despite all logic and reason, this beer exists.

Quickly, I’ll cover the taste. To be honest, it tastes about like Beast, but with more sourness. This is not a good thing. Remember how I said Beast wasn’t quite as bad as it’s made out to be (http://typedslowly.com/2010/03/03/drinking-it-all-12-milwaukees-best-tallboy/)? That was me being fairly generous. Natty Ice tastes worse than Beast. So, bad.

Now let’s look at the packaging. The can’s label/design looks like it was put together by a 13 year-old boy who’s into cars with lots of chrome accessories. Also, imagine said design was printed out on a printer from the early 90′s–fuzzy dots covering everything. Enticing? That’s the kind economical design that speaks to the product’s ultimate purpose.

I’ve pointed out the bylines on some of the other cheap beers, so I’ll call attention to Natty Ice’s as well. “Ice brewed for a naturally smooth taste,” says the label in a substantially smaller font than the “5.9% alc./vol” that appears just below (priorities). I do not pretend to know everything about making beer; I know barely more than someone who knows nothing about the process. But. I’ll be damned if something called “ice brew[ing]” doesn’t sound like a big stinkin’ pile of bullshit. And I bet against the probability that there has ever been a person standing in a curb store trying to decide between Natty Ice and anything who notices said byline and figures what he/she really needs is a beer that was “ice brewed.” Could be wrong, but it definitely doesn’t sell it for me.

Not a good beer. Pick something else. I drank it so you don’t have to.

Thumbs up or thumbs down? Down. See above.

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